The following is an analysis of the article "Retail Sales Rise, but Stores Relied on Discounts" by Michael Barbaro of the New York Times. The article can be found at: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/26/business/26retail.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper&oref=slogin.
I liked the lede - I thought that it was short and catching and described the topic of the article well. The next paragraph did a good job of supporting it and attributes to the reports of two research companies, which it pulls specific information from in the following paragraphs.
Statistics and numbers are used well, spread throughout the article and are easily understood.
I thought that the article itself was well written and interesting, but I thought that the end could've been better. It was just information that didn't really fit to begin with and was just stuck at the end.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Article Analysis - 9th Week
The following is an analysis of the article "Missouri, No. 1? College Football Surprises Again" by Pete Thamel and Thayer Evans of the New York Times. The article can be found at: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/26/sports/ncaafootball/26bcs.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper&oref=slogin.
I liked the headline and the lede. Thamel and Evans used a soft lede that was really effective at drawing readers in. But about halfway through the article I started to wonder if the lede, headline, and first supporting paragraph had misled me about the topic of the article. Suddenly the focus was from Missouri being a surprise this season in college football to describe other football facts that don't really seem to fit. Initially, I wondered if Missouri had just been used as an example to talk about football, but when the story went back to Missouri itself and became more interesting again, I realized that a few unnecessary paragraphs that would probably have lost some reader attention were added.
I thought that the subject of the story was interesting, but the story would have flowed much better had it not drifted to other facts in football. I understand that the authors wanted to show that a lot of crazy things have happened this football season, but I don't think that they needed to go on about it for so long with facts that don't necessarily seem relevant.
At the end of the article the focus is again from Missouri and instead about football teams in general. I wonder if the article should have maybe been about the unpredictable football season as a whole using Missouri as a really strong example. It's something to consider, anyway.
I liked the headline and the lede. Thamel and Evans used a soft lede that was really effective at drawing readers in. But about halfway through the article I started to wonder if the lede, headline, and first supporting paragraph had misled me about the topic of the article. Suddenly the focus was from Missouri being a surprise this season in college football to describe other football facts that don't really seem to fit. Initially, I wondered if Missouri had just been used as an example to talk about football, but when the story went back to Missouri itself and became more interesting again, I realized that a few unnecessary paragraphs that would probably have lost some reader attention were added.
I thought that the subject of the story was interesting, but the story would have flowed much better had it not drifted to other facts in football. I understand that the authors wanted to show that a lot of crazy things have happened this football season, but I don't think that they needed to go on about it for so long with facts that don't necessarily seem relevant.
At the end of the article the focus is again from Missouri and instead about football teams in general. I wonder if the article should have maybe been about the unpredictable football season as a whole using Missouri as a really strong example. It's something to consider, anyway.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Article Analysis - 8th Week
The following is an analysis of the article "New Princeton Coach Aims to Revive Tradition" by Bill Finley in today's NYT. The article can be found here: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/sports/ncaabasketball/14princeton.html?_r=1&ref=sports&oref=slogin.
I think that the lede is good. It's soft, but it draws the reader in, and the first paragraph itself really sets up the article well and allows the reader to understand the focus. It then goes into background, detailing the last few years for the men's basketball team at Princeton, and has a good backup quote from one of the seniors on the team.
I also thought that the article flowed really well. It could've easily been written like a preview for an upcoming basketball season, but it instead became more like a preview written through the new coach and team hopes for the future. The quotes and story itself were very effective, and I really felt like I got a feel for the team.
The end was also a really good signoff, I think. I really liked this article.
I think that the lede is good. It's soft, but it draws the reader in, and the first paragraph itself really sets up the article well and allows the reader to understand the focus. It then goes into background, detailing the last few years for the men's basketball team at Princeton, and has a good backup quote from one of the seniors on the team.
I also thought that the article flowed really well. It could've easily been written like a preview for an upcoming basketball season, but it instead became more like a preview written through the new coach and team hopes for the future. The quotes and story itself were very effective, and I really felt like I got a feel for the team.
The end was also a really good signoff, I think. I really liked this article.
Article Analysis - 7th Week
The following is an analysis of the article "Sex Diseases Still Rising; Chlamydia Is Leader" by Lawrence K. Altman. It can be found here: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/health/14diseases.html?_r=1&ref=us&oref=slogin
I didn't like this article, I thought it was boring. The title caught my eye, I'm sure, because of the word "sex," but the article itself didn't turn out to be very interesting at all.
The lede had a clause in it, which annoyed me, and was a summary lede, which worked well in this case. There were only two quotes in the entire article, and one of them didn't need to be quoted; it wasn't something that couldn't have simply just been stated in the article, it didn't involve any thoughts or feelings or explanations.
The article was full of statistics, which just got really overwhelming and tedious, even to someone who loves numbers. It read more like a report than anything else and I can see how it would be hard for the average American to wade through.
I didn't like this article, I thought it was boring. The title caught my eye, I'm sure, because of the word "sex," but the article itself didn't turn out to be very interesting at all.
The lede had a clause in it, which annoyed me, and was a summary lede, which worked well in this case. There were only two quotes in the entire article, and one of them didn't need to be quoted; it wasn't something that couldn't have simply just been stated in the article, it didn't involve any thoughts or feelings or explanations.
The article was full of statistics, which just got really overwhelming and tedious, even to someone who loves numbers. It read more like a report than anything else and I can see how it would be hard for the average American to wade through.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Revised Crime Piece
THREE CHILDREN TRAPPED IN DUPLEX FIRE, ONE DIES
By Jessica R. Maas
KALAMAZOO, Mich. – A child died this morning as the result of a fire that erupted at a Monroe Street duplex at 2 a.m., according to Patricia Clarkson, Deputy Chief of the Kalamazoo Fire Dept.
The fire was called in at 2:10 a.m. and within five minutes three trucks from two different companies had responded. Upon arrival, seven of the 10 tenants were safely out of the building, but three children remained trapped on the second floor, according to Clarksen.
Clarksen named Samuel Walsh of Company 4 and James O’Brian of Company 2 as heroes for their efforts in saving the children when they tore a hole through the roof of the building and carried the children out.
The children were brought into Bronson Memorial Hospital at 3:12 a.m., according to hospital officials. Tiffany Blanchard, 3, died of smoke inhalation less than an hour later. Her brothers, 5-year-old Tory and 6-year-old Terry, were treated for minor injuries and released to their mother, 32-year-old Marie Blanchard, at 10 a.m.
---MORE---
The cause of the fire is being investigated by Fire Marshal Sam Johnson but an accelerant is suspected, according to Clarksen. There were no smoke detectors found within the building, a violation of city code, and the total building is at a loss, with damages estimated at $250,000.
Kalamazoo Police Department Lt. Regina Santarpio announced that neighbors saw a man run from the building with a canister in his hand, and at the same time spotted a juvenile hanging around the scene.
Two suspects have been arrested in relation to the fire and are being held in the county jail, according to Santarpio. Vincent DeNofrio, 33, and a juvenile, 16, both of Mattawan, are expected to be arraigned tomorrow at 10 a.m.
Santarpio has stated that officials believe Marie Blanchard may have been the target of the arson by her estranged boyfriend. DeNofrio and Blanchard were known to have spent time together off and on.
“What I can say without hesitation is there is a nexus between DeNofrio, Marie Blanchard, and the fire,” said Santarpio.
---30---
By Jessica R. Maas
KALAMAZOO, Mich. – A child died this morning as the result of a fire that erupted at a Monroe Street duplex at 2 a.m., according to Patricia Clarkson, Deputy Chief of the Kalamazoo Fire Dept.
The fire was called in at 2:10 a.m. and within five minutes three trucks from two different companies had responded. Upon arrival, seven of the 10 tenants were safely out of the building, but three children remained trapped on the second floor, according to Clarksen.
Clarksen named Samuel Walsh of Company 4 and James O’Brian of Company 2 as heroes for their efforts in saving the children when they tore a hole through the roof of the building and carried the children out.
The children were brought into Bronson Memorial Hospital at 3:12 a.m., according to hospital officials. Tiffany Blanchard, 3, died of smoke inhalation less than an hour later. Her brothers, 5-year-old Tory and 6-year-old Terry, were treated for minor injuries and released to their mother, 32-year-old Marie Blanchard, at 10 a.m.
---MORE---
The cause of the fire is being investigated by Fire Marshal Sam Johnson but an accelerant is suspected, according to Clarksen. There were no smoke detectors found within the building, a violation of city code, and the total building is at a loss, with damages estimated at $250,000.
Kalamazoo Police Department Lt. Regina Santarpio announced that neighbors saw a man run from the building with a canister in his hand, and at the same time spotted a juvenile hanging around the scene.
Two suspects have been arrested in relation to the fire and are being held in the county jail, according to Santarpio. Vincent DeNofrio, 33, and a juvenile, 16, both of Mattawan, are expected to be arraigned tomorrow at 10 a.m.
Santarpio has stated that officials believe Marie Blanchard may have been the target of the arson by her estranged boyfriend. DeNofrio and Blanchard were known to have spent time together off and on.
“What I can say without hesitation is there is a nexus between DeNofrio, Marie Blanchard, and the fire,” said Santarpio.
---30---
Monday, November 5, 2007
Narrative Piece
The following piece is from today's edition of the New York Times. It's by Jere Longman and Lynn Zinser and can be found here: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/05/sports/05marathon.html?ref=todayspaper.
This article is about Sunday's New York City Marathon winners and it does a few things well. The first thing is that it doesn't tell you who the winners are right away - it draws you into the story and makes you want to keep reading to find out. The following, as we read in Chapter 9, also made the piece stronger:
1) Descriptive Technique - the piece used description without being overbearing, and it worked really well. It also wasn't sexist - it didn't focus too much on the fact that the winner had just gone through a pregnancy, and it gave a lot of focus to the men's race as well.
2) Use of Narrative Technique - I could really picture the route and these women running down it as I read the piece, and that's a huge part of why it's so effective. I was there. The writers were very successful in how they set up the scene. Dialogue was used in a few appropriate places to make it seem more real and more like a story. The scene was set and the plot established, and the reader wanted to find out what happened. It was done very well.
I really liked this article. I thought the story was carried about well, though I wonder if the lede could have been a little stronger. It drew me in, but I wonder if it could've been stronger. I don't know if it's acceptable to put the runner's respective countries in the paragraph following the lede, but if it is I think that that would've allowed it to flow better.
This article is about Sunday's New York City Marathon winners and it does a few things well. The first thing is that it doesn't tell you who the winners are right away - it draws you into the story and makes you want to keep reading to find out. The following, as we read in Chapter 9, also made the piece stronger:
1) Descriptive Technique - the piece used description without being overbearing, and it worked really well. It also wasn't sexist - it didn't focus too much on the fact that the winner had just gone through a pregnancy, and it gave a lot of focus to the men's race as well.
2) Use of Narrative Technique - I could really picture the route and these women running down it as I read the piece, and that's a huge part of why it's so effective. I was there. The writers were very successful in how they set up the scene. Dialogue was used in a few appropriate places to make it seem more real and more like a story. The scene was set and the plot established, and the reader wanted to find out what happened. It was done very well.
I really liked this article. I thought the story was carried about well, though I wonder if the lede could have been a little stronger. It drew me in, but I wonder if it could've been stronger. I don't know if it's acceptable to put the runner's respective countries in the paragraph following the lede, but if it is I think that that would've allowed it to flow better.
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